Hello dear ones!

How have you been? I wish life is being fair to you and giving you enough chances to laugh out wholeheartedly! I am missing my good old buddies for such laughter sessions. These days, am far deep into the rat race to settle scores with the demand of situations. The circle with whom i used to have fun beyond limits, shared cheer and laughter till the stomach & face muscles ached are not around these days. We all have moved ahead with our lives and the demands there within. One one hand its undeniable that the dice of LIFE has to keep rolling this way to keep the game going. But on the other hand, it hurts to realize that people i love and treasure so much are driven away by the shudders of time and changing responsibilities. They all are still close to my heart and I am to theirs. The love is still strong and lively. We all are in touch. But we aren’t together. We are no more able to share the part of daily lives like we used to.

 

Thats my father-in-law.

 

 

He was here with us for a week. The time i spent with him was a typical father-son types. Both at different stages of maturity and thought process. There is so much to talk out and know what is in the other’s head, but something keeps us poised and mum. Something just dosent make us comfortable to talk like close friends. It was almost the same like my times with Daddy. From the day i set my foot out from home to make a living on my own, there has been a strange distance between us. Somehow we dont seem to be in sync with the ideas on most matters. And the feeling is mutual. Strange! And when am not with him, I miss his talks. I miss his advices, doesnt matter that they dont make perfect sense to me. I miss him.

 

I may sound wandering 2 directions with the above paragraphs. But i guess there is a connection πŸ™‚ The people we love most are the ones we fear most and thus keep away from (some strange internal distance). We just dont want to walk into each other everyday on every matter and thereby land into conflicts. Humans are so. We wont be able to tolerate our own clones! How then is it possible that we can be in forever harmony with someone else? Probably I should accept this fact and get as close as i can with my beloved ones. For i dont know till when they will be around! 😦  Google says I am currently 1,576 kms away from my dad. I know am much closer to him than that, but the fact remains that he is not around. I cannot have tea with him right now if i want to. I cannot take his pictures right now if i want to. I cannot. Do i value the chance that i may get to spend time with him if i take a vacation tomorrow? Am not sure. Probably am too busy to think about that. Probably am too busy taking care of the bread and butter. Now that my daddy is done with his work life, probably he understands that am living a mirage and fooling my time for things that i dont necessarily need (and thus the lack of sync). He didnt realize that when he was my age. Probably i too will get the point when i grow grey as him. But the fact remains that I miss him. I miss my mom. I miss a long list of people!

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then the irony of professionalism bites me. Whats the irony? I dont photograph them much. I dont photograph them the way i want to. I dont fantasize shoots for them, like i do for a personal project or my clients. Many people ask me “you must be photographing you wife every now and then, no?” Am ashamed on the inside with the answer as NO! And as strange as it may sound, when my father-in-law was here I kept thinking of taking some portraits of him everyday but couldnt dare try till the night previous to his departure. Not that he would have resisted or reacted to the idea, but its a strange inner resistance that I as a professional photographer suffers. Its difficult to explain how that happens. But have you heard the saying “the cobbler’s children have no shoes”? Its something like…..a chef doesn’t cook food for his family everyday.Β Thats all! I dont want to dive deeper than that. What bites me is the fact that i dont do things with my beloved that i love doing with the rest of world: photograph! Dont mistake me, the thought of picturing them thrills me. I would love picturing my wife more than anything else. But something strange within me resists. I dont know what!

Yes, my father-in-law is a fun loving person. Who amongst us isnt? The bosses we hate, the teachers we loathe, the relatives we cant stand…everybody within us loves to have fun. Probably they dont value it. Probably we are missing it too! Any idea why? Are we acting like professionals? Are you getting my fight?!

 

Never mind! The point is, do more for your beloved ones. Spend more time with them. Share more of yourself with them and vice versa. If you are that cobbler, make some amazing shoes for all those you love! If you are that chef, cook more often for them! πŸ™‚

Make merry!

 

 

Few of my thoughts on this post is influenced from a wonderful post my fav. teacher Zack Arias wrote here. And yes, I will photograph my long list! Any makeup artists out there? Any wardrobe collector? Anyone willing to volunteer? πŸ™‚

Photography enthusiasts! i will try to post the lighting diagrams for above images by coming weekend. Like i said….am too deep into the rat race to take out time. Bear with me!

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